Why So Many Women Think They’re ‘Bad With Technology’

Imagine this. A man and a woman are both learning how to use some new software. Maybe it’s WordPress. Maybe it’s a shopping cart. Or some kind of plugin or widget for their pre-existing websites– the specifics don’t really matter.

As is inevitable when learning something new, they both run into a problem. An error message. A technical glitch.

Their reactions are very different, though.

When faced with an error like this, the woman might say, “Did I break it??” or What did I do??” She’s very likely to blame herself– assuming some kind of “innate defectiveness” and that technology isn’t her “thing.”

Meanwhile, the man is more likely to blame the program for the error— charging it with being buggy or unintuitive. He’s thinking, “I did what I thought I was supposed to. This isn’t working properly!”

This distinction between how men and women (on a statistically-significant scale) react to problems with technology has been researched from many angles over the last several years. To quote the Huffington Post:

It’s very well documented that girls and women are more likely to internalize failure and mistakes while boys and men are more likely to externalize these. [Dr. Valerie Young, author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women] cites a classic cartoon example where a woman tries on a pair of pants that no longer fit and she says, “I must be getting fat” while a man tries on his ill-fitting pants and states, “There must be something wrong with these pants.”

Blaming Ourselves = “Technology Is Not My Thing”

Clearly, this issue of women blaming themselves and internalizing failure isn’t just about technology, but technology is one case that’s very clear to see around us.

Have you ever met a woman who’s quick to identify herself as “not a tech person”? Many women? Maybe even yourself? Identifying oneself this way can start with just that very first technical glitch and last a lifetime in its wake.

Personally, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard and read women say something to the effect of, “Oh, my brain can’t handle this tech stuff!”

It’s just not true!

And that’s the good news. Because I would like to argue that unless you’re willing to turn Amish, opting out of technology is not an option. Technology is no longer a “thing” that can be yours or not yours. It’s simply the world we live in.

Those Who Embrace Technology Can Accomplish Anything, In Any Industry

It’s commonly accepted that the lowly computer geeks from our high schools are becoming the rich and successful among us as adults. Good with technology = success, money, and respect. We’ve all internalized this message already.

However, the success that comes from embracing technology doesn’t always look like Mark Zuckerberg.

It can look like anyone, in any industry; be it success in teaching or coaching, in fashion, or even charity.

For example, it recently occurred to me how many people in these industries started out as web designers or developers. Among them:

• Laura Roeder, who’s a very successful social media teacher and consultant.
• Mai Olivo, who founded and runs the successful fashion site, Ruche.
• Dan Gigante, frontman of the sprouting one-for-one t-shirt charity site, You and Who.

You don’t have to actually be a web designer or developer to be successful in the same way they were. The main ingredient at work was their attitude as “technology people.”

Simply being open and willing to learn how to use new software that can help you achieve your goals (like WordPress or shopping carts or productivity apps) can be all it takes to qualify you as a “tech person.” Outsourcing as you need to, but not being afraid to delve into that world and become part of it, will take you a long way.

Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself

It’s easy to be intimidated by the sheer number of software tools, programming languages, and the like. But, coming from an insider, I’ve got to let you in on a secret: even professional programmers only know a small fraction of them. Expecting to know the “entirety” of technology before attempting to use it is like attempting to know every person on earth before hiring an employee.

We can’t always see what’s coming down the pipeline next or intuitively know the new rules. But if anything is certain, it’s that technology has opportunities to offer anyone, and the only thing stopping us from taking advantage of them is ourselves.

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